Me and Irving – 14 January 2011

With my new job being at Camp Ripley I spend my weekday evenings at our cabin instead of the 90 mile commute one way back to our house in the cities. I knew up front that I would miss the hustle and bustle of family and friends and most certainly waking up next to my wife every morning. There were a few perks of course I felt fairly certain that I wouldn’t miss Bella (Susan’s Labor-doodle) trying to wake me by slamming her front paws down on my unprotected chest in the early morning hours.

What I didn’t count on was sometimes I look in the mirror in the morning and think to myself “Self, who is that moron singing country songs”? The reflection looking back at me is a much older version of the man in the mirror that I remembered from yesterday. Why country songs you ask why I’ll tell you where else can you get depressed and still get the hog market report? It seems that one of the few radio stations I get clear up there is county. But it’s not all bad; if I ever farm I will know where to get my farm crop insurance and what kind of seed to use. Another drawback is there are a few TV channels to watch but only two have a clear picture. The other ones are all statically and show snow no matter the time of year.
I was wrong on so many levels as the walls of the cabin close in on me I start to have weird thoughts such as:

Why is it that there are advertisements for a “White Sale” on Martin Luther King Day? Is it just me or am I reading into this?

Why are there brail numbers on the drive up ATM machine? Could that explain the multiple colors of car paint on the post protecting the machine?

Why is it McDonalds had to mark their coffee cups with a warning that contents are hot, but not mark a shake container that the contents are cold? You may think it’s silly but dump an ice cold milk shake in your lap once and see how you react.

Though the fall I was busy clearing brush, burning the piles of trees and brush. Every night I was out till the news came on reclaiming our land from the forest. Now it’s dark when I leave and even darker when I get back to the cabin at night. Not to mention the pretty white snow that waits for me on the metal roof above the door. Its times like that that I ask myself “Self why is your metal roof so steep and when is it going to slide off and seal my fate”?

It’s not that I’m alone I’ve had visitors come to see me during the day. Why just yesterday I had fresh Turkey prints in the snow that came from the bird feeder to the cabin door. I’m sure Tom the Turkey wanted to tell me the feeder was empty. Then there’s Fat Boy, Chunky Momma and Little Buddy (squirrels) that I have been feeding. I’ve started to like them around even though at first I tried to keep them out of the bird feeder. I recently bought a salt block to encourage more of Mother Nature’s kids to come out of the woods.

What gets me though most nights is that this is temporary and that everything will work out in the end. One weekend I go home the next weekend Susan comes to the cabin. It’s not necessarily the best case scenario but the time we have together is quality over quantity. Not long after winter hit I was in the cabin making supper when I felt that I wasn’t alone and that something was watching me. I did a few fast head turns in hopes of catching whatever or whoever was watching me. I mean the shades were drawn and the weather outside was in the single digits who could it be?

Then I noticed him sitting there on the ledge looking so happy and yet out of place, His colors were a vibrant green that were in contrast to the winter white outside the kitchen window, Who was he and where did he come from? His long hair and mug look had me worried at first. I wondered where he came from for a moment I visualized the scene in the movie cast away where it was just Tom Hanks and “Wilson”. Here I was far from home and suddenly I wasn’t alone anymore. You see my mother-in-law Harriet had received the plant as a gift and left it at the cabin. It was up to me to initiate the conversation being tongue tied I said “Hi there are you thirsty”? You might think it was an odd thing to say but the words never left my lips instead we were doing that mental telepathy thing. I sensed he was thirsty and I was right.

No matter what I do he is there for me and being a cast away I befriended him and called him Irving. Since then Irving and me do most things together. Although he won’t eat the food I prepare, drink a beer, or swallow the pop corn spread out on his soil I think he’s cool. Being my roommate can’t be easy for him as well but I do draw the line at the dirt he leaves on the couch or the dried leaf that he recently left on Susan’s pillow. I haven’t witnessed him going to the bathroom yet, although someone has been putting the lid down on the toilet? Between you and me I’m thinking that he might have his intestines knotted up from sitting in the coffee cup planter.

Irving likes to watch TV but he looks on in horror when horses are grazing or a lawn mower is in use or when a mangy bush gets clipped. He never seems to want to watch anything other than what I watch. To be fair I would love to let him watch gardening shows or landscaping but the two channels I have are neither. It’s probably just as well that we don’t have cable. With him being upset by horses grazing, sharp shears and lawn mowers can you imagine how he would respond to a cooking show? Picture Julia Childs making a fresh garden salad using fresh greens?
All in all life is good! Not the ideal circumstances by far but being unemployed isn’t a viable option either. One day our ship will come in and everything will work out. I’ve always said the big guy takes care of us and if it was meant to be it will happen.

In closing I want to add some New Year’s resolutions that I know I can keep.

# 1 I will utilize every minute of the car drying time the next time I’m in a car wash.

# 2 No matter the line at the self serve soda fountain I’m going to make sure my cup is full but not running over.

# 3 I’m going to transplant Irving to a bigger pot and watch him grow!

# 4 I’m going to enjoy being a husband, dad and grandpa and live each moment as if it was my last.

That is all,
Dave

P.S. You have to ask yourself if Dave can write something like this now imagine what he will be like after 3 more months of winter?

P.S.S. I don’t get the Far side but then again I don’t get the local paper either.