16 June 09- It's hard to say good-bye I can't imagine saying hello

I never dreamed that my family would ever join the military. All of my kids have joined at some point in their lives. Only two remain, and as a father I’m proud of all of them and the commitment that they have made. I never wanted this for my kids, but I suspect that my Dad never wanted me to have to serve. My dad was in WWII and I’m sure he thought that by serving that someday there would be peace. It doesn’t work out that way though does it? Last week was a tough week for me with my baby boy heading off for basic training. I pray that he will never have to come to this god forsaken place to serve his country. The last message that I got from Josh was “Dad, they're taking our phones away from us tonight, so just one last message saying bye, and I love you, talk to you in 10 weeks:)”

Wow 10 weeks until I hear from my boy. I know it’s hard for me but I suspect it’s harder for my wife. After 25 years of having kids in the house she is about to have the house empty until Josh returns. My daughter Jacki is leaving soon to join her dad in Iraq. She is making the longest journey of her young life. How quiet the hallways of our home will be. There will be no lights to shut off, no mess left in the kitchen, no one standing in the door way of our bedroom wanting to talk after they get home at night. Like anything there will be the memories of laughter, an occasional fight, and the cosmetic an emotional scar left in our house. There is the indentation downstairs in the drywall from the WWF smack down that Jacki and Josh had one night. The marks in the drywall from something that bumped in the night from “not me” or his cousin “wasn’t me”. The sprayer nozzle in the kitchen that on more than one occasion had been rubber banded (when the kitchen faucet is turned on the person gets sprayed). Then there are the dark areas within our house that our kids have patiently waited for a victim (sibling or parent) to scare.

Did I mention empty house syndrome? Empty house syndrome you’re asking yourself what in the world is that? It’s the one moment in time where you’re all alone in the house and the bathroom is empty. You gather up your book, maybe a cordless phone and off you go to the bathroom. Sure enough you settle in and lose yourself to the moment (not movement). Next thing you know there’s someone knocking on the door. Obviously there someone in there, but they still ask. Two bathrooms in our house, but our bathroom seems to be the hub of their world. The other thing you’re probably wondering about is the cell phone. Why the cell phone you ask? Experts (Jacki) will tell you that if you ever run out of toilet paper you have a lifeline to the outside world. You can leave 911 messages to your parents explaining your dilemma in hopes that someone will hear your cry for assistance.

I know Susan is going to have some tough times ahead but I know she will be ok. She knows it could be worse and she is an old pro at separation because of the military. I’m thinking it’s going to be different this time with the military rocking her world. Again it could be worse. I sat by a guy in the mess hall this morning that has it worse than we do.

His wife just had a baby and he was watching it on SKYPE when the internet feed went dead. There were some tense moments in an attempt to call the hospital that followed. With the delay on the phone during conversations, and the effort made by us to call home through the switch board. The baby was born by the time the call got through. Luckily everything came out fine, but to miss the birth of your baby? That’s why I said in my title “It’s hard to say good-bye, I can’t imagine saying hello”. What do you tell your partner, your newborn child? I can at least tell my kids I love you and will talk to you later.

Hopefully if there is one thing my kids have learned from me it’s “your glass is never half empty”. You have to look at life with your glass half full of potential to make your world a better place. When everyone gets home next January – February we will all say hello and maybe appreciate what we have as a family a little more. There are a lot worse things out there waiting in the darkness. Don’t give up the faith and bring a little sunshine into your world now to illuminate the darkness.

A little up date from my word last night we celebrated MAJ Howes 50th birthday party. There were 30 people there and a stand in for his wife. A nice time was had by all and the stage was set for future 50th birthday parties.

If you interested in reading more about my world you can subscribe to the local fish wrapper by going to subscribe@TheRedBulls.org. The PAO (Public Affairs Office) provides up to date current events here in our corner of Iraq.

I wish you all the best and will try to send posting more regularly.

That is all,
Dave