21 Aug 09 – Cribbage Masters

It’s been a while since I’ve posted and I thought I would share a little from my world. It is hot here today; I'm guessing its already 110 and 70% humidity. Needless to say after walking in my T-shirt is soaked, my deodorant has evaporated and my underwear is wet. There are a lot of “going to the movie” comments just waiting to be spoken. My day can only get better from here right? Looking back at the past week, I wonder can it get any better.

The message traffic below is about a hallway challenges that was issued to play cribbage dating all the way back to February at Ft Lewis. You see one of the soldiers added to our deployment is from Oregon. She had a special skill that was needed, and she filled a vacancy that we had. Quite a bit of trash talk but for some reason (she never showed) the game never happened.

After talking about it for so long the long anticipated game finally took place. We both opted to play with a partner just in case the game went south. The rational I’m sure on her part was in case of a loss you could blame it on your partner and never have to admit defeat. It reminded me of high school football playoffs with two local teams. There was electricity in the air as we sat down to the table to play. A new deck of cards was opened, the board inspected for flaws and the game was on!

The first game we were neck and neck down the back stretch, coming around the last corner we were elbowing each other all the way to the finish line. The second and third game was played, and again we triumphed. It was official we were the Cribbage Masters of Basrah!

Those of you that know me would realize that I would feel bad about the butt kicking. Using my great sportsmen like upbringing, and my conscious getting the best of me I thought I would offer up my support to the losing team. I sent the following message offering our support to the losing team.

All,

My cribbage partner Cheryl and I invite you to our office for some cribbage lessons. You and others like yourselves can be winners too! With our very easy to follow curriculum you can learn more than just how to play the game. With our Zen like training you not only learn the game but become one with cribbage as well. The steps are so simple that senior officers from North Carolina, and yes even the state of Oregon have witnessed what our training can do for you.

It's all broken down into simple steps:

Step 1: Understanding your opponent

Step 2: Emotional and physiological conditioning

Step 3: Game face

Step 4: Trash talk 101

Step 5: win/lose with dignity

Step 6: Happy dance

Below is a one of our customer comments from our website:

MAJ DTO (name changed to protect his identity) Being from Minnesota I thought I had the game down pat. In my mind I was able to walk the walk and talk the talk. What they taught me about cribbage has made me stand a little taller and walk with a spring in my step. Being a winner has changed my life for the better. I have looked into the face of fear (COS) and laughed because I know I am a winner! Dave and Cheryl you have made me what I am today and I thank you!

Contact either Cheryl or Dave for your first cribbage lesson today! Our operators are standing by. Enroll now and get our free introductory pamphlet "Cribbage it's not a game it’s a contact sport".

Remember the first step in seeking help is admitting that we are the winners and you're not worthy of us!

The Cribbage Masters!

With all my years of sportsmen like conduct behind me the other team had the nerve to reply the following.

SGM - I thank you for the invitation for a rematch of cribbage. I can see that you have achieved a graduate level at "trash talk". How about a rematch on Saturday evening? That would be conditional on if my partner is available as I believe that might interfere with movie night.

In addition, you might recall that we were fairly close on that one game. With additional practice I think LTC Muskrat and I will be kicking your hinny and have you squealing like a little piggy. (How's that for trash talk???)

Respectfully,

LTC Oregon

That’s a good sign that they would utter another challenge. But the tone that they used didn’t seem very nice. So I replied:

LTC Oregon,

It's so sad to read your message crying out for help! Under the circumstances I will waive our usual butt kicking fee in an effort to help you. As far as your trash talk comment goes I should add the word "Respectfully" after I use trash talk.

BMYAFP (Between Me, You and the Fence Post) close is a term used to describe horseshoes, hand grenades and poop fights, not to be used to describe the butt kicking we gave you. I'm sure in your mind you celebrated your second place victory.

Respectfully,

SGM

With that being said the additional training is scheduled for Saturday evening. I think with a little intervention that they might be able to break the cycle. My question to myself is “Self, do you let them play the A team or give them a chance with the B team?”

I will let you know the outcome later. Although I’m sure most of you by now know the outcome. For those of you back home in Osakis, and Oak Grove Lessons are available!

That is all,

Dave